Slowly my eyes fluttered open.. and I catch a blurry image of someone close to my face. too close.. and my instincts tell me to get away. But then as I start to wake, I also realize who’s face I am groggily looking at.
It is the face. the face that I so wanted to devour this past month. And so I tense. there must be no more than 3 inches between our faces.. more strikingly - those lips to my own.
And so I wait… and God - wait and stare.. sleepily rove over the grooves and curves of that precious face. Then my fingers slightly lift from my side. Aching to touch.. Oh what would it feel to touch that nose - the groove under those precious lips. Those lips even - all the while thinking how many have they touched themselves. How many before me if…
and then the eyes that I could look into forever starts to flap open. and the hazel color that seems to tease me bore into my equally brown ones. and then I take a nervous breath. Shit. What should I do? Pretend to sleep once more, pry my eyes away from that incredibly interesting face? but the temptation to see the reaction after knowing that I was gazing as the marvel was sleeping was too much for my curiosity.. and so I stare back. Swallowing my nerves back to brave this territory.
I’m not the type to flirt. I ease from those things. I interact, but I don’t feed it either. I’m the fly that as soon as something moves, I move away too. but this.. God, this feels so good. So good to look at those brown eyes warming me all over.
And then it must’ve been forever but a movement on my back alerted me back to the world I was living in. - I had someone sleeping behind me. We are not alone. And so I close my eyes. And think… and not think.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What the hell am I doing???
and so I open my eyes once more. and what a surprise for me to see those lips curved into something unexpected - a smile. Surprising to see that I wasn’t the only one with hunger in my soul. Watching those eyes rake in my face. I tense. and I see that face consider the tension. and that body moves into mine.. moves closer.
God.. how is this possible? My blood pumps through my veins. My heart is jumping and attempting the feat of pushing through my chest. And I know that the marvel has noticed this.. and then slowly. That face spans the space that felt like the ocean.
And the touch that the softest of lips was not quite I imagined. It was… shakey. I mean those lips that I so wanted to kiss betrayed the certainty that they were experienced. This is new to them as well.
And so I kiss back. Softly.. then urgently. All the while only our lips touching. Until my nose and my cheeks burn into it’s adjacent. and we blur into each other.. and then the spell breaks.
And the look that we found in each other’s face - equally flushed and flustered - was something that I would’ve given my life for a picture of. It was all bliss. I didn’t expect it. I never knew. and as we let the moment sink into our consciousness - a smile crept into my mouth. and a giggle of secrecy and undeniable gaiety escaped me.
thinking back on this.. THIS is what I would’ve done. but you were to scared to take it. Too scared to show that you are inconvertibly, passionately in love. and so your fears get the best of you. and so do mine.